Friday, October 29, 2010

How they all fit together.

We have looked at how all four characters look individually. We’ve seen how they operate when things are good, and how to notice where they are operating in bad ways in our life. There is one more study that is imperative to the four characters, and that is how they tie together and need each other to become whole, to reach their potential, and to stay clear of the bipolar shadows that are inherent in each.

KING
The King is the foundational character that all others are built upon. He is the basis of order, the ruler of the other three. He provides a fertile kingdom for the four to operate together and become effective. As mentioned earlier about the King, he embodies the law of the land. He lives his rule, and that example extends to the kingdom.

The King is not self sufficient, as powerful as he may be. He needs the Warrior to keep from becoming the weakling, or one who is hesitant to act. The King needs the Warrior to combat and conquer evil. He needs him to extend his kingdom’s rule to the chaos that is outside his realm; the chaos that threatens the peace of all lands. A King without a courageous Warrior is powerless.

The King needs the Magician for his wisdom. This wisdom allows him to rule effectively. An unwise King will not know how to pass proper laws that will provide healthy boundaries for the fertility and peace of the land. If the Warrior goes on conquest to extend the land, but there is not proper law brought to the new land, all is lost in one form of chaos replacing another. Jesus said that if you drive out a demon and do not clean house, he will bring back seven more demons, more wicked than himself. (Matthew 12:45) A King without a wise Magician is useless.

The King needs the Lover in order to show mercy to those within his kingdom. A merciless King will turn into a tyrant who does not embody his law, who does not live out his rule. A merciless King rules his kingdom out of fear, and creates fear within it. A King without the Lover is ruthless.

WARRIOR
The Warrior, as courageous as he is, is not a stand-alone character either. The Warrior needs the other four characters to bring a balanced role so he does not slip into the barbarian and/or pushover.

The Warrior needs the King for the purpose of conquest. A Warrior without a purpose is merely a savage. A Warrior without a purpose will go out and look for one. He will take up trivial causes to keep from getting bored. He will take his frustrations and anger out on people around him. A Warrior without a strong King is dangerous.

The Warrior needs the Magician for the knowledge and skill of combat. A Wise Magician can train up a Warrior in the arts, tactics and skills of weapon wielding. A Warrior who does not know how to properly use his weapons is not very effective, just as a Warrior who is not skilled in the art of tactics is useless in battle. This Warrior will have an overabundance of energy, but will be defeated quickly and easily for a lack of knowledge. The Warrior without a skilled Magician is ineffective.

The Warrior also needs the compassionate Lover to keep from becoming a barbarian. The Lover provides the compassion needed for acts of mercy, the ability to feel. Not all battle needs to be done by the sword. The compassionate Warrior will also be able to take on a fight for another. The Bible often refers to looking after widows and orphans, those who do not have the ability to battle on their own. The Warrior without the compassionate Lover is barbaric.

MAGICIAN
The Magician is in dire need of the other three characters to bring order and balance to his characteristics. He needs the King’s accountability, the Warriors action, and the Lovers mercy.

The Magician needs the King’s accountability. Often the Magician can use his knowledge for manipulation for selfish gains. The King will embody the law, live the rule, and give an example for the Magician to follow. The Magician who does not have the accountability of a King becomes a manipulator.

The Magician needs the Warrior for his action. There is an old saying, “Those who can do, do, those who cannot do, teach.” While that may be selling our teachers short, the Magician, on his own is incapable of action. He has many great ideas, much knowledge on issues, and wise in tactics to get things accomplished, but he lacks the strength on his own to make any of it happen. A Magician without a Warrior is immobile.

The Magician needs the Lover’s patience. Often the Magician can get frustrated with all the “idiots who don’t get it” and become ineffective in helping them to understand his wisdom. The Magician who lacks a patient Lover will become self-righteous, and condescending.

LOVER
The Lover is in desperate need of each of the other three characters to help give him the proper boundaries he needs for healthy operation, instead of chaotic consumption of his passions.

The Lover needs the King to set the boundaries of what will bring peace into the kingdom. These boundaries will allow the Lover to flourish healthily without consuming his entire life with passions running wild. A Lover without a controlled King is a consuming wildfire that destroys what it seeks to enjoy.

The Lover needs the Warrior to provide the discipline needed to keep his passions within its proper boundaries. A King provides the rule and boundaries, while the Warrior enforces those boundaries. A Lover without a Warrior is a weak addict.

The Lover needs the Magician to provide understanding of the importance of boundaries. The Lover needs the Magician to bring knowledge of art, beauty, and creativity. The lover needs the Magician to bring skill in the areas of romance and how to love his wife, musicianship and how to create music, tools on how to create art, vocabulary skills on how to write. The Lover without a Magician is left silent.

If we strive to learn about ourselves through these four characters, strive to learn where we are strong and enforce it, and strive to learn about where we are weak and work to strengthen these areas, we can live a great story from day to day. We can be men of character, principle, passion, action, and peace. The Bible calls this wholeness. We can move towards wholeness and healing as men, and impart this to those around us.

Closing Prayer
We would do well to pray for ourselves what Thomas Merton prayed for himself:
MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude"

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Lover

“We live in a society whose whole policy is to excite every nerve in the human body and keep it at the highest pitch of artificial tension, to strain every human desire to the limit and create as many new desires and synthetic passions as possible, in order to cater to them with the products of our factories and printing presses and movie studios and all the rest.”
-Thomas Merton


Who the Lover Is

The Lover, he is the character that most men do not know what to do with, yet he won’t go away. He is seen as a weak, needy personality. He is perceived to be evil in many Christian circles because he is tied to passion, and “passion leads to sin” is a perception held on to by many churches. Still the presence of the Lover will not be ignored, bottled, or set aside.

Conservative religion condemns him. This condemnation sends the Lover underground into hiding. You don’t talk about him, you don’t acknowledge his existence. You bottle him up and try not to disturb him too much lest he explode and get you into trouble. The problem conservatives have with this personality is that they tie the Lover merely to sex, and think that there is nothing more found within this role. His personality will not be simplified like this though. It is larger, and more rounded than that.

Liberal religion does not restrain him. They make the mistake, not of bottling, but of spilling. “Don’t bottle the lover,” they say, “let it run freely.” If you dump your bottle of coke on the ground, you still don’t get to enjoy the drink, just like those who never open it, and keep it bottled. There has to be a common ground to stand on and have a healthy expression of this character.

You cannot bottle up this character. Passion always bursts from its prison, yet you cannot spill the precious water on the ground. Passion must be contained in a proper vessel, and given the proper outlets, or it resents you and rears its ugly head in unhealthy ways.

What does the Lover look like? What are his personality traits? The Lover is the one who appreciates and enjoys beauty, creativity, and love. The Lover is the poet, artist, or musician in all of us. The Lover is the one who is compassionate, merciful, and pitiful of other people. He is the one who extends grace, who is strong enough to not take revenge, who is patient with those who irritate him.

The lover enjoys beauty, creativity, and love. He is the one who can sit in the woods hunting and see the sunrise, hear the birds sing, the wind blowing the leaves, and think, “This is beautiful.” He is the one who can see a painting, hear a piece of music, see a well done film, or read a piece of writing and say, “That was creatively put together to communicate meaning.” He is the one who can look at his wife, all decked out for a date, and truly appreciate what she has done with hair, makeup, and dress.

What the Lover Does
The lover extends compassion, mercy, and patience. He is the one who can see a person in need and feel what they feel, and act in whatever capacity he is able to help. He is the one who hears of a petty wrong done against him and rise above his petty desire for revenge and extend mercy and forgiveness. He is the one who can extend patience to the people who push his buttons, irritate him, or have a different set of values they live by.

Of course, we can’t speak of the lover and be silent on romance! The lover is the one who can romance his wife, sweep her off her feet, speak loving encouragement, appreciate her beauty, and love her sexually and non-sexually.

Within great stories the lover is prevalent. Think of characters like William Wallace from Braveheart, Robin Hood, Maximus from The Gladiator, Uncas from Last of the Mohicans, Sam Spade from the Maltese Falcon, Rocky. All of these characters that we can identify with had strength, AND they had heart. They exhibit compassion, fidelity, love, and mercy.

The Lover gives us creativity and passion to appreciate life and God’s creation. The lover helps us appreciate food, art, music, poetry, story, beauty. The Lover gives us an emotional connection to others in deep friendships. The lover character goes far beyond sexuality, although that is included, the Lover is the one who can enjoy life to its fullest extent without being consumed by this enjoyment.

Where the Lover Goes Bad
When the lover goes wrong, he turns into his bipolar shadow, the addict or the calloused. The addict is the lover who has no boundaries, whose fire burns outside of the fireplace and consumes the entire house.

If you grow tomatoes, you know there is a reason that you place cages around the plant. It is not for the restriction of the plant, but for the purpose of helping it bear fruit. The cage lifts the plant off of the ground, keeps the tomatoes off of the ground, gives more of the plant access to sunshine and water, and helps the grower see what fruit is there for consumption. Boundaries do not mean bottling.

The bottled lover will soon turn into the addict, passion unrestrained. He is not strong enough or mature enough to wield the power of passion, so he lets his passion wield him instead. But all this access to unrestrained passion also leaves him calloused. When your skin has prolonged exposure to something, it starts to thicken and toughen for its protection. This is what happens to the addict.

A man who is suffering from calloused passions will notice that he no longer appreciates the sunset like he used to, or he is unable to offer compassion to a hurting individual. Perhaps he is irritable with those who are “beneath him” who try his patience, or he only goes to see a movie for its special effects. Perhaps the calloused lover is no longer able to appreciate the beauty of his wife, and she goes unappreciated, unloved, and unnoticed. This is not an overnight venture, of course, callouses take time to build, and do not show up right away. Often a callus forms over time through much pain and blistering.

We cannot go through life without proper channels for the lover to communicate through. We cannot go through life with unrestrained passion, or bottled up passion. We end up calloused addicts without creativity, no ability to appreciate beauty and life, and no desire to extend compassion.

A Biblical Example:
Jesus: the example of mercy and kindness

It seems so uncomfortable to attribute the title Lover to Jesus, but this is due to our immature and incomplete concepts of Lover. Isn’t it Jesus who tells us the story of the Prodigal Son and the Good Samaritan? He sets the standard for compassion. Isn’t it Jesus who is moved with compassion for Jerusalem and weeps over its pending judgment? Isn’t it Jesus who often retreats to the solitude of the beauty of God’s creation to pray? Whose idea was it to invent romance and sex? Who wrote the steamy Song of Songs book in our Bible?

Isn’t it Jesus who refers to his church as a bride whom he is the bridegroom of, and who he gives his life for? Jesus shows us the ultimate love, mercy, and compassion by walking the road to the cross and enduring death for our sake. Jesus’ self sacrificial love is our prime example of love. We are to love others as we love ourselves. We are to treat others as we would want to be treated. Jesus sets the standard for loving. The Apostle John even states that “God is Love” in his first epistle.

How different would our families be if we practiced a self sacrificial love towards them? How much richer would our life be if we could place boundaries on our passions and give them outlets? What would our life look like if we loved like Jesus?

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Magician


”Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.”
Proverbs 3:13-18 (NLT)


Who the Magician Is

You may be wondering where this character comes into the scheme of things. The word Magician has so many mysterious images that immediately come to mind upon hearing it. But once this character is described, the mystery fades and he becomes familiar.

The images drawn into the mind when we hear the word Magician are probably ones that are out of touch with the modern age. Possibly you are thinking of a tribal medicine man, an Indian shaman; perhaps you think of something from a legendary tale, like Merlin from the stories of King Arthur. While these pictures carry a somewhat accurate image of the Magician, they are limited and distant.

Regardless of the pictures we see, or how vividly we may see them, the fact remains that, for most modern people, the notion of a Magician is viewed as an ancient, outdated vocation. Nowadays, only “illusionists” exist, and they are not trusted counselors to kings, or dreaded villains to be overcome. They may, however, perform at your child’s birthday party. The truth is, however, the true Magician is the master of wisdom and knowledge. Some would call him the sage, the elder, the magi, or the wise teacher.

A great picture of a modern day Magician would be that of the mountain man, the man who knows the trail and can guide you past the dangers ahead. He is the scientist, master of the microscope who can find cures for diseases. He is the soldier, a master of his martial discipline. He is the doctor, who can hear a bit of congestion in the lung and diagnose pneumonia. He is the pastor who can teach truths from the Bible in ways that make sense in modern times. The magician is the keeper of knowledge, and possessor of the wisdom needed to properly use that knowledge.

What the Magician Does
The Magician is a picture of the mature man who possesses insight, awareness, wisdom, and knowledge. The magician possesses the ability to stand back and look at himself, others, and life from a standpoint of observation. The Magician will then take the information and use wisdom to offer necessary decisions.

The mature Magician is able to know how to handle his family when things are not working properly. He will be skilled in the art of balancing the expectations of work and family. A good Magician will be master of the technology available to him while not becoming addicted to it. A good Magician will take over during a crisis and override panic to swerve instead of hit the back of the car. The Magician is the wise old sage, experienced in matters of life, able to guide and offer wisdom in areas of life whether during times of peace or crisis.

More importantly, the Magician is able to have insight into the spiritual life. The Magician seeks and finds the answers to the questions: “What does a vital connection to God look like when lived out”? How does one mine the treasures out of God’s word and apply them to life and circumstances”? How do you go about deep and meaningful prayer that goes beyond empty conversation with an invisible person”? “Why should I fast”? How does a healthy physical, mental, emotional, sexual life benefit my faith”? The Magician is wise in spiritual practices as well as everyday life, and he knows how to make connections between the two.

The Magician then offers this wisdom of life and spirituality to those around him. He lives out what Jesus said in John 7:38 “Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’” (NLT) Many people in our lives need access to this living water. We need access to it ourselves, so that others can come and learn how to become a source for a river as well. What if our kids could come to us for spiritual wisdom? What if our wife could lean on us for spiritual strength? What if our friends could come to us for insightful wisdom? What if our workplace was enriched because of our spiritual connection to God? This area belongs to the Magician.

Where the Magician Goes Bad
Unfortunately, the Magician has its dark side as well, when he plays the role of the manipulator. In ancient tales of kings, we know that they have an advisor. In Lord of the Rings, King Theoden is under the evil spell of Saruman. His advisor, Grima, also called Wormtounge, takes full advantage of this. He secretly runs the kingdom through lies and persuasion. Wormtongue offers only the advice that will benefit him, not the kingdom. This is an exaggerated picture of what the Magician turned manipulator looks like.

The manipulator does not guide others with his wisdom, but manipulates them to get what he wants. He does so in a sneaky manner. The manipulator has information that could help, but selfishly withholds it for the benefit of himself. The manipulator hurts others with his knowledge.

This can be seen in the real estate agent who withholds information about the house’s septic tank to make the sale, or the lawyer who holds back crucial information in order to have another meeting. This can be the teacher who uses his knowledge to make his students feel inadequate instead of dispensing edifying knowledge and life.

When the Magician lets his knowledge make him prideful instead of helpful, he hurts others, and he hurts himself as well. He sits back and observes life, instead of living it. He thinks and do not act. He gets caught up with indecision and fears living life. He fears making a bad move, so he does not move at all.
The passive manipulator is all-of-the above, but with a nice-guy façade. He manipulates with a smile. His smile is to hide his fear. He fears questions that reveal the truth about who he really is. He is passively hostile towards those who would bring criticism, questions, or advice, but, again, all with a smile. He is referred to as the “Innocent One” who walks around with a “who me?” demeanor, and a “How dare you accuse the Innocent One” attitude.

The passive manipulator wants the position of Magician, the power that comes with it, but does not want to take the hard road that will get him there. The passive manipulator is a fragile human being, and that is why he is so defensive. He needs to protect his fragility. These men are hard to accuse and bring into the light due to their elusive, innocent façade.

They do possess knowledge, but instead of becoming like lights to the world, they use it to become like shadows. They like the side of the Magician that is seen as mysterious. This gives them power. They shun the role of teacher, preferring to offer riddles that confound and confuse. They may fill the role of teacher, but the spirit of that role is one they dread; for a true teacher is an unselfish giver of wisdom and knowledge, who hopes deeply that what is given will be of great benefit to the recipient.

How can we access the Magician, and bring him to maturity in our lives? We need to practice the ability to honestly look at ourselves. We need to stop protecting our fragile egos from reality, and expose them before God so he can change us. The reason we get caught up in the role of the manipulator is fear. We fear authenticity so we hold others at bay with manipulation. We desperately need access to the wise Magician in order to know how to properly handle life and all its complexity. We need only to let go of fear and obey the most repeated command from the Bible, “Do not be afraid. I am with you.”

A Biblical Example:
Jesus: teacher of wisdom
Jesus is our prime example of the Magician. He was the keeper of the knowledge and truth of God, and freely dispensed it. He knew how to live a life that pleased God, and shared it with others. Jesus could interpret Scripture with true insight as to what our proper response should be, and he taught it.

The Pharisees were the teachers of Jesus’ day. Many used their knowledge for personal gain. They were the lawyers of the religious and political system. If you could not afford their services, you were probably labeled “sinner” or “unclean” and pushed to the side. Your relationship with God was hindered if you were not financially able to get the needed information out of these “experts” regarding how to become “righteous” or “clean.”

Jesus says this out of his anger towards this group of Pharisees,
“They crush people with impossible religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. “Everything they do is for show…“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either…“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are careful to tithe even the tiniest income from your herb gardens, but you ignore the more important aspects of the law—justice, mercy, and faith. “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence!” (Matthew 23:4-5, 13, 23, 25 (NLT)

Jesus was quick to come to the aid of those who have been trod upon. He was quick to freely give his life-giving information about how to live righteously. Jesus did not hold vital information back, or use his wisdom for his own gain. We can still access these teachings today in the Bible, and dispense this wisdom to those we love. We need more men who can live out the character of the Magician for the benefit of others.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Warrior


“Our difficulties and our dangers will not be removed by closing our eyes to them”
–Winston Churchill


Who the Warrior Is
We men, young and old, seem to be drawn to the character of the Warrior more than any other character. We love the stories where we can watch valiant Warriors come through when it’s all on the line. We desire this same ability within ourselves as well; the ability to show the world, and possibly ourselves, we have what it takes.

Boys growing up connect early with the character of the Warrior. No matter how hard you try to suppress the Warrior in a boy, he will find a way to play out its character. Take his guns, and he will pick up a stick, it is now a bazooka. Boys continue this fascination into teenage years with video games, living out the Warrior vicariously, it then continues into manhood with sports and hunting. He does not go away.

Properly lived, the character of Warrior has strength, energy, and motivation to take life and its problems head on, moving forward, and taking ground. Doesn’t that sound great? If we live out the character of Warrior in our own story, we can take an active stance towards life’s conflicts instead of a passive one that merely holds its ground, or worse, loses ground.

What the Warrior Does

General Patton said, “A Leader is a man who can adapt principles to circumstances.” The Warrior is a clear thinker with the ability to focus his mind and body upon the situation at hand, evaluate what needs to be done, the best strategy to accomplish this, and adapt to the situation as it progresses. Let’s look at these characteristics.

A clear mind is important to the Warrior. Without this quality, the Warrior can turn into a pushover, afraid to act. General Patton said, “No sane man is unafraid in battle, but discipline produces in him a form of vicarious courage.” This is the clear mind. It does not mean that the Warrior is unafraid; it means that the Warrior is able to rise above fear (knowing that progress is more important than fear) to take on the situation.

The Warrior is able to evaluate what needs to be done. This is important, and shows maturity. The immature Warrior, the Hero, will not evaluate himself or his circumstance. He does not possess the clear mind. The Hero will just jump into a situation blindly, and get slaughtered in the process. Many great warriors have been martyred out of true bravery, yet there is a clear difference between the bravery of a clear minded Warrior, and the Hero’s ill prepared attack that ends in slaughter.

A Warrior will be able to evaluate his opponent and circumstance, and plan out a strategy for engagement. If a frontal assault will not work he will plan a flank attack. If the opponent is too large, he will call for reinforcements. If the timing of the attack is wrong, the Warrior will regroup and engage when he is strong enough. The Warrior is a master of the battle. What if we applied such a mastery to life’s battles?

What if we had these characteristics when we were faced with difficult situations with someone in the workplace, a situation within our family, financial hardships, stressful times, new challenges, or tragedy? What if we could have clear thinking, focus, evaluation, and adaptation for the best way to overcome the situation at hand? Life would then become exciting! We could make progress in our marriages, jobs, education, and struggles.

Above all, the Warrior has principles that he lives by, and can adapt those principles to life’s circumstances. A true Warrior is not led about by fear, but has a positive attitude, courage, takes responsibility, is self-disciplined, and has mastery over his mind and body. A true Warrior will treat discomfort or pain as opportunity for strengthening. The reason a Warrior is not afraid of pain or discomfort is because he is led by his principles instead of comfort, he will rise above difficulty to fulfill his duty. No wonder the character of Warrior is so admired by men. He is admirable!

Where the Warrior Goes Bad

The character of the Warrior can go seriously wrong. Much of what we may have seen in the Warrior is his bad side. When the Warrior goes bad, he becomes the twofaced Barbarian/Pushover. Some men become enamored with the Warrior’s aggressiveness, but do not embrace his discipline and control. They end up becoming mindless, cruel, abusive barbarians.

When we suppress the character of Warrior in our lives, it acts like a bottle of soda. It can only be jostled around so much before it explodes, and then things get messy. Maybe we lose it on the dog, (a safe place to lose it) or the kids, a co-worker, boss, spouse, or friend. The suppressed Warrior, sooner or later, becomes abusive. A proper Warrior, however, is not abusive – ever. He is strong enough to control his emotions and his temper. Even the Bushido Samurai Warriors had a code of seven principles to live by: integrity, courage, generosity, respect, honesty, honor, & loyalty.

The Barbarian comes out of a severe insecurity. The aggressiveness is a protection for a fragile ego. The Barbarian is fearful that someone will find out that he really is a weakling, so he puts on an aggressive front. Usually the “alpha male” front works fine. Not many people are going to question him for fear of being chewed out!

The barbarian can also turn on himself instead of other people. He is the workaholic, student-aholic, or sports-aholic overachiever. He is the fearful one who will abuse himself, and, indirectly his family, with his absence physically and/or emotionally. This self abuse comes from a fear of someone finding out he does not have what it takes. He finds his identity in what he does instead of who he is. The foundation of his identity is resting on the shifting sands of other peoples opinions.

Those who do not hide their fear with an aggressive, macho front can turn into the pushover, the one who lets life happen to him, the one who lets fear keep him from action. He is the one who lets his weaknesses, fears, and insecurities rule his life, instead of overcoming them.

The “pushover” is the barbarian turned upon himself in another way. This man has convinced himself that he is a coward, and turns the abusive Warrior energy upon himself to punish himself for being cowardly. He allows people to push him around, because in his own mind, he deserves it for being so cowardly.

Theodore Roosevelt was a very sickly child. His father told him, “Theodore you have the mind but you have not the body, and without the help of the body the mind cannot go as far as it should. I am giving you the tools, but it is up to you to make your body.” Theodore responded without hesitation, “I will make my body.” Here is a picture of him in his youth. He grew up to be a very rugged individual not held up by his fears.

A pushover is afraid to confront life head on, and, therefore, takes a passive stance in the hopes of just surviving it all. The character of the Warrior, however, actively confronts evil and utterly destroys it, not out of a love of destruction, but in the hope that new life will spring forth, that good will fill the vacuum where the former evil prevented its flourishing. This is what Jesus did for us.

A Biblical Example: Jesus

Jesus was not afraid to use the character of Warrior to confront evil. The Pharisees were a strict religious sect of the Jews that had a stranglehold on their religion. The system was set up in such a way that if you did not have enough money to hire a religious lawyer to make sure that you were religiously fit to enter into the Temple, you could not participate. This left the poor, the sick, the widows, and the orphans out, and alienated from God.

Jesus, however, came onto the scene and preached the good news to the poor. The crowds came with such force that he was forced to preach in a boat for lack of room on the shore. Jesus was making God available to everyone. He was taking the monopoly the Pharisees held on God out of their hands, thus removing their power. In His system, the Pharisees no longer had the ability to financially capitalize on the poor. This made them angry, yet Jesus was led by his principles and not his fear.

Jesus confronted the religious buying and selling in the Temple and drove them out with a fierceness that could move a crowd. He was not angry because people were engaged in business at church, but because they had used all of the Temple space reserved for Gentiles to worship, keeping non-Jewish people from God as well.

The money changers were also responsible for making sure that sacrifices were up to par to offer to God, and if they were not, then they could most certainly buy one of these convenient sacrifices here for a higher fee. Or for another fee you could exchange your “unclean” pagan money here for “clean” Temple money, again for a fee. This was taking advantage of the poor coming to worship.

Jesus knew that his primary battle was not against flesh and blood, but it was a spiritual battle. Jesus went to the cross to defeat the powers of sin and death, utterly defeating them, so that new life with God could emerge. Here is what the writer of Hebrews says about the whole battle:
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.
Hebrews 12:1-2 (NLT)

We can actively confront the sin within our life and defeat it, and we can do this by the power made available to us through God’s Holy Spirit at work within us. Jesus is a great Warrior, and we can imitate him by living out the verse from Hebrews. This is what a disciple is, one who sees the teacher, and then goes and does likewise.

Too often we have a cerebral faith IN Christ that requires nothing of us but an agreement to doctrinal statements, but more importantly, we need to have the faith OF Jesus that led him to live the life he did. To walk as he walked, live as he lived. This is the type of faith that makes real change in how we live. This is the type of faith that is a lifestyle as well as a world-view.

There is so much evil in the world that needs war waged upon it. A good Warrior will destroy evil to make way for good.

If the Warrior is in a bad marriage, he will wage war upon whatever is keeping his marriage from being good, destroy it, and clear the pathway for new life in his marriage. If the Warrior is in a stifling job, he will discipline his mind and body, training himself patiently and destroying negative thought patterns and habits that keep him from advancement in order for new life to come. If a Warrior sees injustice within his sphere of influence, he wages war upon it, bringing peace.

Some men fear the inner Warrior’s aggressiveness so they suppress it, but it only leads to outbursts of rage, whether upon others or upon self. These outbursts of rage can be very camouflaged, as in the workaholic who spends all his time in the office, or the educational overachiever who misses the beauty of life in order to get a grade.

When we possess a spirituality that can access the Warrior, we can stop abusing others and themselves. We will not be passively watching life happen to us, but we will be actively taking on life. We will be Warriors who are principled, and under the authority of the King of the land, our King Jesus. We will wage war upon the injustice that we see and reflect God’s characteristic of justice. We will not take abuse from other people and shrug it off, but will “parry” their attempts to attack us, yet not barbarically counter attack. Our attacks will be for the purpose of bringing about new life, justice, and vitality into our kingdom, not feeble attempts to protect fragile egos

We would do well to remember Winston Churchill’s famous saying: “Never give in—never, never, never, in nothing great or small…never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

Monday, October 11, 2010

The King

“If a man does not have an ideal and try to live up to it, then he becomes a mean, base, and sordid creature, no matter how successful.”
-Theodore Roosevelt


We men identify with the King. He is a picture of authority, power, stability, and centeredness. Maturing the character of King in our life provides this, which we all desire. We are all playing the role of “kings” with the influence of a “kingdom” of some kind. Maybe you have a family that you oversee, maybe you are a boss or a manager of employees, maybe you are a coach and oversee players. Even if you are a bagboy at a grocery store who lives alone, you have a kingdom called “your life” and it needs order and stability. No matter the size of the kingdom, we need to rule it well. But how?

What the King Does
Kings pass laws for the land to obey. Laws are for the peace and stability of the land. The first responsibility of a king is to embody the “law” that he is asking his people to live under. The king is a living example of the stability and peace that he expects of his people. If the king does not live this, then the king cannot extend this to his kingdom. He may try to enforce it with stale laws, but if he is not living it himself, he cannot pass it down to his people. If I do not have $20 in my wallet, I cannot give you $20. You cannot give away what you do not possess. If the King does not experience order and peace through his own law, he cannot extend that to his people.

What Kingship Looks Like
We all have a kingdom of some kind. This kingdom is made up of family, friends, work, play, relationships, and responsibilities. I was a youth pastor for a while and I noticed that many parents would drop their kids off so that we could “fix” them. Maybe a little church would do them good. The problem was, we had them for an hour, once a week, and had to give them back to the dysfunctional families that they came from for the remainder.

Why did the kids need “fixing”? We can go into all kinds of debate on social, theological, and economic fronts, but what it really comes down to is this: the parents did not possess the life they wished their kids to receive from church. They did not live it the rest of the week. You cannot give away something that you do not possess.

If we could live our lives as the embodiment of the law that we wish our children and grandchildren to live, we would make more ground than a one-hour per week youth group could ever do. Men need to live out the character of the King.

This is what Jesus did. The Israelites were given God’s pathway to walk down. They called it the Law. In the Hebrew it is “Torah” – the Way. Jesus said that He was the Way, the Torah. He was not saying, “If you want to get into heaven after you die, have faith in me, I’ll get you in.” He was saying, “If you want to know what God’s Law looks like lived out in a human life, look to me and do what I do.”

How Kingship Works
First, we can follow Jesus’ example. If we place our kingship under the rule of Christ, and follow him, we can look to those following us, and say, as Paul did, “Imitate me as I imitate Christ.” If we do this, then we will be a source of blessing, fertility, stability, centeredness, order, and rule to those within our kingdom. Our wives, kids, employees, friends, family, and even our own selves will flourish with peace. Peace is the sign that a good king is on the throne.

Second, we need to take a good long look at our lives and discover where there are areas of chaos. We need to find the areas that are under the influence of evil, and areas of conflict that needs engagement. We need to identify these areas and start to live differently. We need to live confidently in ways that promote peace, good, and resolution.

Where the King Goes Bad

There is, however, a shadow side to the King, a two faced Tyrant/Weakling. When the king is not living the law, he can become a tyrant who seeks, through his own insecurity and fear, to squelch the peace and prosperity of those in his kingdom whom he sees as a threat. If he can’t live the law, he will enforce one harshly. We have all had bad experiences with those who have abused authority; those who have authority without the character to back it up.

We look down upon this behavior in others, why would we live it? Yet we do when we seek our own gain at the expense of others. A good king lives for the good of the people in his kingdom, not for his own gain. A good king brings blessing to his people and peace to the land. The tyrant seeks to exploit his people for his own benefit. The tyrant seeks to abuse others for the sake of enlarging his own ego.

We hear about the Tyrant everyday. He is seen in the abusive (emotional, physical, mental or sexual) father/husband, the micromanaging boss, the crazy Bible thumper, the narcissism seen in the “my-way-or-the-highway” mentality, and an over sensitivity to criticism that leads to revengeful patterns.

The Tyrant exercises authority out of fear, for his true self is seen in the picture of the impotent king, the weakling. For fear of discovery, the weakling hides behind the tyrant facade. The King gone bad lacks centeredness, calmness, and security with himself. He does not live out a rule or law, but tries to impose one instead with his authority.

The weakling, when he is not hiding behind the Tyrant mask, is impotent, afraid to act, and paranoid. The weakling is actively looking for people to adore and praise him, all in attempts to build up a feeble self-esteem. The weakling needs people to like him and praise him in order to feel stable.

This means that the weakling is not very centered. His approval comes from his environment, which changes often, and not from a security and confidence that comes from the inside. This security is one that only God, the King of kings, can give and bestow to those who have stepped into his rule and reign.

A Biblical Example:
Jesus, the King of kings

The Bible speaks of God as King of kings. We are all kings as men set in charge of some sort of kingdom, and God is the true King of all kings. When we step into salvation through repentance, and start on the road toward holiness, we step inside of God’s rule, God’s kingdom. We become a part of his reign. We are His people and He is our God. God’s kingdom is a kingdom of peace, justice, and compassion. Accessing the king in us means surrendering our kingdom into God’s kingdom, and following God’s pattern of rule. Listen to Paul’s description of our King Jesus:

“Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.”
Philippians 2:6-8 (NLT)

Jesus shows us a centeredness and security that only God can give. It is our responsibility as men to mirror God’s humility, service, obedience, and grace. To live out the character of the King, we need to look to the life and death of Jesus Christ, our model for living, and live “the Way” that he did. We need to look to God’s empowering Spirit within each one of us, for it is the Holy Spirit who will lead us into all truth. And we need to look to God the Father, a model of love and fathering for us all.

When we can have a spirituality, a practice of faith that reflects the power of the Trinity, and changes us from the inside out, we will then possess an inner authority that comes from God. If we do not possess this, we have only a flimsy authority that needs to be “enforced” with tyranny or re-enforced with the praises of other people. This authority then extends to our kingdom that God has given us to steward, and live out Micah 6:8, which teaches us, “He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God”? (NRSV)

Introduction

Introduction
If you are like me, you like a good story, and you know that a good story has good elements. One of the key elements to a story is conflict. You can’t have a story without conflict. If there is nothing to overcome, then the story is dreadfully boring! Can you imagine watching a movie about some dude washing his BMW?! (Funny that we think that will make a great life though. In all reality it is boring.)

A good story has some sort of conflict that the main character needs to overcome. In the classic stories the conflict usually comes from an extension of evil. The bad guys have invaded the land and need to be repelled. The bad guys bring conflict, evil, chaos, and disruption. We need key characters within those stories to help fend off the bad guys and bring back order, good, peace, and happiness.

Well, like it or not, we are living out a story, and each day is a new page. Every day has conflicts that need resolution, evil that needs battling, chaos that needs order, and disruption that needs peace. If we are going to live out a great story with our own lives, we are going to need some key characters in our story to help us accomplish this.

There are four characters in classic stories that help to accomplish this. These four characters are ones we can all identify with, and should live out in our own lives if we hope to gain any ground at conquering our chaos.

I came across a book that really helped me see the power of characters in a story. These four characters are the King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover. Each one is a character that we relate to, and a role that we fill everyday. These four characters are already being lived out in our lives today, in good ways and, in areas, bad ways. If we can focus in on ways we are living correctly and reinforce them, then discover areas that we are not and make the necessary alterations to correct them, we can bring peace, order, and stability to our story.

I invite you to read on and discover what each character, lived out well in our lives, can do.

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Musings on Masculine Spirituality pt5


So many men today need the approval of other men, which is a genuine need, that they will enter into the world of toys. The biggest truck, a bigger boat, a fancier grill, a faster car, a bigger TV, a sleeker motorcycle, men will seek the affirmation they truly need from other men by getting the oohs and ahhs as they drive by and show off their new toy. The approval is never lasting though, because they will need something bigger and better next time.

The reason they need the praise is because men really do need the approval of other men. Only masculinity can bestow masculinity, but only those who have a healthy masculinity can bestow a proper masculinity upon other men. So we are caught in a vicious circle. Men are so caught up in thinking that an apple is a orange, peach, cherry, or pear that they show off their fruit to others who believe the same thing they do, So we both compare pears thinking that they are an apple, and whoever has the biggest pear wins, until next time they compare. I think that this is what Jesus meant when he said, “do not build your house on sand.” Sand changes and shifts and is not worthy of a foundation, as with the opinions and approvals of others. If we build our identity upon the shifting sands of others’ approvals, then all it takes to knock us over is the disapproval of another. This is why Jesus tells us to build on the rock, his teaching of finding your identity within God, the ultimate apple tree.

So how and where do we find this illusive apple? As stated earlier apples bear apples. Men need to be involved in a healthy group of other men. Men who know what an apple is and is not. men who know that a pear, orange, peace, or cherry is not an apple. We need men who can speak with authority into other men’s lives, and speak life and healthy masculinity into us. We need men who can challenge us where we are weak and insecure, and support us where we have fallen. We need men who can point us to God, who is our heavenly Father, who can bring us through the process of making us men, who can plant an apple tree in our front yard, and give us the wholeness and fulfillment that only he can give.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Musings on Masculine Spirituality pt 4


If the workplace is a pear, then the women and sex department have to be cherries. I love my cherry, she is sweet and delicious and refreshing. There is nothing wrong with a cherry. God made cherries and they are a good thing. But again we find so many men trying to get their apple from a cherry tree.

In our culture, you are a man if you have rock hard abs and have an attractive woman that you are able to please sexually. Many men do not have the ability nor the opportunity to achieve in the workplace. We have turned the workplace into a very impersonal place where men know that they are just another cog in the machine. Some of us know that we may NEVER find our apple within the workplace. And we are correct. We skip the whole illusion of the boss being the keeper of the apples. This is a grace from God, light for our path. But instead we turn down another unlit path.

Our media tells men that cherries are apples. This is what sells things, and what drives the market is what sells. Sex sells. Sex is not an apple. It is a very good cherry. But again you can never find your apple from anything other than an apple tree. I believe this comes from a culture of under-fathered and over-mothered men. Most fathers are absent, and we are taught that we need to look to the feminine to bestow upon us the masculine. But cherries don’t bear apples, they are not designed to, nor are they capable of doing it. When men turn to the feminine for their fulfillment of the masculine, they are turning down the wrong path. This path is that of fear. We fear our women because they could withhold our masculinity as punishment. Let’s make one point loud and clear, YOUR WIFE IS NOT YOUR MOTHER! She does not have the power to withhold your masculinity because she is not the keeper of the apples. She needs your masculinity to shelter her femininity. She needs you to be the man that God called you to be so that she can have the security to be the woman God called her to be.

This path can turn into a secretive secluded addiction to pornography. You can have the cherry, all the while thinking it is an apple, without the danger of rejection. But this is a double killer. It kills your masculinity because it enhances and weakens your insecurity as a man.

By seeking apples in this fashion, you are actually poisoning the ground where your apple tree is to be planted, preventing the chance that any apples would have to grow, and you are partaking of a cheap imitation of a cherry, not the real thing. So you are killing your ability to recognize a true cherry from the imitation. So within the secretive world of pornography, you kill two fruit trees with one axe, leaving you with cheap imitations, and a truck load of insecurity.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Musings on Masculine Spirituality pt3


There are men who need to have a bigger and better trophy than the last. Men are warriors by nature, something that we will explore a bit later. We love… no…NEED to battle something, even if it is just a little white ball on a tee. And that is part of the apple we are seeking. Many men will search for this illusive apple within the arena of sports. We get to see concrete victory on a large screen with numbers on it. We did better than they did; we are better men than they are. We have the apples and they do not, the proof is in the stats/score/applause/praise. Maybe we don’t play, but we are fans of a team or a player. If we have the right labels (T-shirts, bumperstickers, Hats etc…) then the world will see that we have an apple.

Men can easily become addicted to the praise and affirmation they get from sports. Again, there is nothing wrong with a pear, a cherry, or even, in this case, a peach; they taste good. The mistake we make is confusing one fruit for another — a peach for an apple. So many men are convinced that a peach is an apple that even though they cannot perform in this area, they will identify with those who do and develop an unhealthy addiction to sports heroes or teams. I know many men who love the taste of peaches, eat peaches often, and do so in a healthy manner, knowing that they are not going to receive an apple from it. This is great. It is when we seek our apples in a peach orchard that problems arise.

There is a dark side to peaches as well, the addictive world of sports “fan-dom”. Sports aren’t bad. They can be a source of recreation, relaxation, and connection. But many men develop an unhealthy addiction to sports, thinking that they can receive an apple from them. Many guys cast aside their responsibilities to take care of their worlds that God has given them (stewardship). They trade their real world for a virtual one. There is nothing intrinsically evil about the peaches. It is the mistaking of an apple for a peach that gets men trapped.

The battle side of men can take us in one of two ways. One: it can fan our competitive natures in such a way that if we do not win we do not obtain our apple. Two: Our competitive natures can be rendered impotent because we know that a peach is not an apple, so we are very passive and do not battle for anything. Guess what, there are some things worth fighting for, and there are some things not worth fighting for. Wisdom to know the difference is critical, and the beginning of wisdom is...well, we’re coming to that soon enough.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Musings on Masculine Spirituality pt2


Far too many men think that they can draw their masculinity from something other than the masculine. Masculinity is the stamp of approval that says we have what it takes as a man to take on the world. You can only get this stamp of approval from those who have experienced it. You can only give away what you possess. Most men in the West do not possess this true, healthy form of masculinity, so they cannot instill it into the next generation. In short, masculinity bestows masculinity. Apples bear apples. If masculinity is an apple, and the men who can bestow it upon others are apple trees, then, many men are searching for an apple from a pear tree. What does this look like?

Work/Boss| For many men, they did not receive adequate “masculinity training”, so they search for that approval within an authority figure. If the boss can give a sales ring, a promotion, more vacation time, or a raise, then we feel as though, for a moment, we have been handed an apple from an apple tree, when, in reality, we were handed a pear from a pear tree. We believe that we have received the approval we have been looking for, but, in reality, it is only a pacifier. We know deep down that it is only fleeting. This may be what Jesus is referred to when he said, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, but lose his soul?” What would we gain from getting a pear tree when what we are searching for is apples?

The boss is probably in the same boat as the rest of us — looking for approval from someone higher up on the ladder. That is why they say it is lonely at the top. You have no one to receive your pears from anymore, and then you realize that you were not looking for pears in the first place. Maybe reaching the top is just as bad as reaching the bottom. Jesus said the first shall be last, and the last shall be first.

Pears are good. It is good to work, and get promotions and raises. It is good to have a boss you can look up to. It is good to receive praise and give praise in the workplace. Pears are good fruit, BUT it is not good to mistake a pear for an apple. It is a potentially fatal mistake that could cost you your soul and your masculinity.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Musings on Masculine Spirituality pt1


The Apple tree: Men are searching for an apple. Not only are we searching for an apple, but we are looking to plant an apple tree right in our own front yard so that we do not have to go looking all the time when we need an apple. I have decided to use this illustration to make an abstract idea a little more concrete. Put bluntly, men are searching for their masculinity; “the stamp of approval that we have what it takes to take on the world”, the inner confidence that we are indeed men to be reckoned with, strong, capable, and wise. This is the apple. Unfortunately, men are looking in all the wrong places. We are looking to the pear trees, cherry trees, peach trees, and orange trees to give us the apple we are searching for. But only apple trees bear apples. Masculinity only comes from masculinity.

Also, most men do not have a point of reference in which to draw their spirituality. Spirituality is the actions we take to settle or fill the inner madness, the unquiet, the built-in discontentment, the inner drive for something bigger, the “God shaped hole,” the search for our identity, to put it in one word; fulfillment. And since men are masculine, searching for the approval and bestowing of the masculine, men experience a masculine spirituality. Masculine spirituality then is: what men do to search for and fulfill their identity as men.

Everything that men do to find this identity is spiritual by nature. Whatever we do in search of our apple is our masculine spirituality. This can be a healthy spirituality leading to life, security, and health, or it can be an unhealthy spirituality leading to death, insecurity, and degradation. Searching for the apple is a healthy thing, a natural thing, something we were created to do. All men are involved in the search. Searching for the apple among other fruit trees, or mistaking other fruit for an apple is where many men fall flat on their faces in failure.

Far too many men think that they can draw their masculinity from something other than the masculine. If masculinity is the stamp of approval that you have what it takes as a man to take on the world, then you can only get this stamp of approval from those who have experienced it. You can only give away what you possess. Most men today do not possess masculinity, so they cannot instill it into the next generation. In short, masculinity bestows masculinity. Apples bear apples. If masculinity is an apple, and the men who can bestow it upon others are apple trees, then, unfortunately many men are searching for an apple from a pear tree, their work.

So, Here we go again

I am giving this blog thing a new try. Stay tuned for updates.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Let the resurrected Christ within you burst from the tomb! Let Christ live the resurrected life through you.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Community with unrealistic expectation will lead to pain.

Friday, January 08, 2010

I am off to a conference for my masters degree this week. I'll update periodically.