what are the odds?

This week is the first anniversary of my son Elijahs passing. It is a week no different from any other so far. Tough. Speeding by. Full yet empty sometimes. Im not sure what to feel, or how to act. I have so many questions that lack any answers. Can we have any more kids? The doctors tell us that Isaacs medical condition and Elijahs medical condition are not related. But the chances of having a baby with Isaacs condition are so very rare. I have only found 44 other cases in the country to date. That is 44 total not 44 this year. For anencephaly, that is rare as well. To have these back to back with the odds that are there, and have them not be related would be a astounding. It is.

So the doctors are giving us statistics of having another with the same kind of problems, and the statistics say that we are more likely to have another child with one of these problems than the normal parent, but that probability is still low. Enter now the question of the century. If God has everything planned out for us (which I do believe) then why are we statistically more likely to have more birth problems. What should statistics have to do with anything? Statistics done by medical professionals are tough to explain away. We ARE more likely statistically to have more birth problems, but if everything is in Gods hands, where does the statistic play?

Do we consider it? Do we say in wisdom, we should not take on the responsibility of another death or special needs baby because it is so great a responsibility, and our best knowledge today says we are more likely to do so, or should we say in faith, We will take what God gives.? Where is the balance of faith and wisdom?

A proverb says, The fool barrels on without caution and with great confidence, but the wise are cautious and avoid danger. Maybe some Christians today would say that the fool has the greater faith because of his blind confidence. But God called him a fool.

Hebrews says faith is the substance if things hoped for and the evidence of things we cannot see. There is a difference here in this blindness I just dont know what it is yet. There is a certain element of blindness in faith, but when does faith turn into foolishness? The answer eludes me.

I have more questions than I do answers, but the answers I have are the ones that I need. I have faith in that much.