I have been inspired to inspire

I read a quote today that hit me hard, and enabled me to look back on the year’s hardships in a positive light. Myra Shelley writes in her book, “The Leadership Secrets of Billy Graham” That the Bible tells us that everyone alive is born into sorrow, as the sparks fly upward. Everyone experiences personal tragedies and inevitable grief, but leaders bear all these things along with the weight of knowing how much their decisions, attitudes, and actions affect others.”

I lost my son Elijah this year. It was the most devastating, stressful, faith-bending event I have gone through to date. This event happened on top of an already stressful year of medical challenges with my other son Isaac. Many people told me, “I don’t know how you are handling this, I would be falling apart by now.” My response was an honest, “I am handling this because I have to.” Simple as that.

When I gave the eulogy at my son’s funeral, I was looking into the faces of people looking for hope and inspiration, because all have pain and hardships, and wanted to know that they could face their situations as well. I could have folded under the pressure and rolled into a little ball, and said “I give up” in front of all those faces, or I could step up and let God strengthen me for the task at hand. The first option would have gotten me pity and sympathy, the other option could have inspired a few hundred people. I could have focused inward, or outward. Leaders focus outward first.

Last week a student took my wife aside and said, “When you first came to this church, I was at the lowest point of my life, I was depressed, and had been cutting myself. Watching the two of you trying so hard to be strong for everyone while going through the loss of your son was such an example and an inspiration to me. After seeing that I made a real commitment to God, and my life has turned around. Your faith showed me who God really is.” (paraphrase)

After hearing this, and reading the above comment, that leaders bear the weight of their tragedies and sorrow along with the weight of knowing that people are looking to you for inspiration, I felt a bit better.

Leadership, as I have learned, is a beautiful alchemy of personal pain and tragedy mixed with great character and initiative. Mary also writes later on, “When one believes that one’s actions are not random and meaningless, and even more important, that one’s actions influence eternal realities for longer than what happens in one’s brief life, it humbles and sobers the soul.”

Lesson of the day: Leadership requires a conscious choice to use your hardships to inspire others.