The Quiet Before the Storm

We have a few days left before we go to Guatemala. I am getting excited, but I also feel a sensation in the pit of my stomach when I think of the trip. The best way to describe it is the feeling that you get during the climb of the first hill on a roller coaster. I am referring to this feeling as "the quiet before the storm".

I do not have any apprehensions or fears about going. I am very excited to go. I think that God is preparing my heart to do some transformation. This quiet preparation before the storm of transformation is a weird feeling. I have confidence that our team is going to have a face to face encounter with God. I believe that we will come back changed.

Looking God in the face is a scary thing. No one can see God and live. When you look God in the face you have to die to your self. It is much easier to keep God at arms length, to be a fan of Jesus rather than a follower of Jesus as my friend Ben puts it.

The challenge for me is to experience the trip with my team and not be the "leader" who is outside of the experience (at a safe distance). I am still the leader, and I will lead this team, but from the inside. So don't be surprised if you see me quiet, prayerful, or in tears. I am giving God full permission to work in my heart as he sees fit. I need work done in me just as all of you do. I am letting down my guard for this trip, and I pray you all do the same.

Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be prayerful. Be still. Immerse yourself into the experience of this trip. Give God full permission to engage your heart and transform you. Stare your ugliness, neediness, fearfulness, insecure self in the face and grieve over your sin. Stare your God in the face and worship Him for his goodness. He loves you despite the previous list of attributes we default to.